gotta be performative,

- soundpiece (whispering of stories, healing)
- simple animation (travelling with voices)
- speaks for itself (russian speech, ask mom? english subtitles)
- a lil abstract (leaves space for thought)
- print story for on-hand-available context

PUBLICATION 01

script one.

- wakes up
- looking around at the russian landscape
- starts running
- gets to a cliff, can't run no more
- looks back, building on fire
- hesitantly walks back
- picks up a piece of burnt wood or smth
- can keep walking

PROCESS

a short animation that aims to translate the feeling of recurring shame in day to day life. Using particular russian symbols to demonstrate the fragments of my heritage, I keep removing them from my line of sight, running away from confrontation and emotions they bring out. The way these fragments keep making their way back portrays the intrusive nature of these thoughts, and the extent to which running away doesn't rid you of your past.

SYMBOLS

Church Domes.
Church domes have been a big motive for the prison tattoos. The amount of domes usually links to the amount of years a convict spent in custody. The meaning of the church domes for me is quite different, for me its about "window dressing", let me explain. When roads are built in the city there are always little bits of land left free here and there. There are next to the road, dusty and pretty random and that is there they build yet another church. Russia is so proud of its piety, of the beautiful churches and devout people, but behind every church is a rich abby, stuffing up his pockets. The psalms do not mean a thing, but that's a secret no one knows, cause look how many churches we have!

Kokoshnik.
Кокошник is a part of the traditional russian costume. A head piece that was originally worn by married women, who needed to cover their head and hide their hair. The word itself comes from words that mean "brood hen" or "hatcher". Charming, if you ask me. Many of current norms and values in Russia traveled to us from old Russia, and family values are the most prominent ones. Back in the day a woman's purpose was to make a home and keep it warm and full. They would marry and go into husband's family at the age of 13 and start birthing children at first opportunity. The more children the more help for the family, everyone would grow to look after their younger siblings and later to help their parents on the field. The role of women was to be a mother and the keeper of the home. At some point the house would be filled with souls, young and old, that is how people survived back then.

Birch Tree.
The tree became sort of a symbol of Russia (even though they grow worldwide) and has a special place in heart of our poets, artist and folk. Birch trees are associated with nostalgia, longing for the simpler times. In poems the tree symbolizes stages of life and changes of seasons, it is a mentor, a friend. A great example of how we tend to romanticize things and give them soul. This is one of the signifiers that I do not reject and do not fight, I find it beautiful and sad.

ROUTINE

insight.

in my initial idea I wanted to tell the whole story of:

"I FEEL SHAME AND DISCOMFORT, SO I TRY TO IGNORE IT AND RUN AWAY BUT THAT DOESN'T HELP REALLY SO YOU HAVE TO COME BACK AND GET SOME PIECE TO MAKE PEACE WITH IT'

but that backfired on me, living me completely confused and overwhelmed with the amount of things I wanted to translate into this work. I found the way to make it again, after receiving good advice from my sister and simplifying the message I wanted to relay.

* * * * * *